“Domestic violence is behaviour that is learned through observation and reinforcement in both the family and society. It is not caused by genetics or illness.
Domestic violence is repeated because it works. The pattern of domestic violence allows the perpetrator to gain control of the victim through fear and intimidation. Gaining the victim’s compliance, even temporarily, reinforces the perpetrator’s use of these tactics of control.”
~ From Anne L. Ganley & Susan Schechter, Domestic Violence: A National Curriculum for Family Preservation Practitioners 17-18 (1995).
5 forms of Violence:
1. Physical
Inflicting or attempting to inflict physical injury
example: grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, biting, arm-twisting, kicking, punching, hitting with blunt objects, stabbing, shooting
Withholding access to resources necessary to maintain health example: medication, medical care, wheelchair, food or fluids, sleep, hygienic assistance Forcing alcohol or other drug use
2. Sexual
Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent
example: marital rape, acquaintance rape, forced sex after physical beating, attacks on the sexual parts of the body, forced prostitution, fondling, sodomy, sex with others
Attempting to undermine the victim’s sexuality
example: treating him/her in a sexually derogatory manner, criticizing sexual performance and desirability, accusations of infidelity, withholding sex
3. Psychological
Instilling or attempting to instill fear
example: intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, victim, and/or others, threatening to harm and/or kidnap children, menacing, blackmail, harassment, destruction of pets and property, mind games, stalking
Isolating or attempting to isolate victim from friends, family, school, and/or work example: withholding access to phone and/or transportation, undermining victim’s personal relationships, harassing others, constant “checking up,” constant accompaniment, use of unfounded accusations, forced imprisonment
4. Emotional
Undermining or attempting to undermine victim sense of worth
example: constant criticism, belittling victim’s abilities and competency, name-calling, insults, put-downs, silent treatment, manipulating victim’s feelings and emotions to induce guilt, subverting a partner’s relationship with the children, repeatedly making and breaking promises
5. Economic
Making or attempting to make the victim financially dependent
example: maintaining total control over financial resources including victim’s earned income or resources received through public assistance or social security, withholding money and/or access to money, forbidding attendance at school, forbidding employment, on-the-job harassment, requiring accountability and justification for all money spent, forced welfare fraud, withholding information about family running up bills for which the victim is responsible for payment
Stop Domestic Violence!
Stop domestic violence!
Stop domestic abuse!
Stop verbal abuse!
Stop aggression!
Stop sexual abuse!
Stop emotional abuse!
Stop financial abuse!
Stop physical abuse!
Stop harassment!
Stop toxic people!
Stop intimidation!
Say NO to any forms of violence and domestic abuse!
🌷 🌷 🌷
Sharing you an excerpt/theme from my memoir:
“Habitually aggressive and habitually abusive greedy people who for more than two decades or who had always been aggressive and abusive even before we were born, as they committed repeated verbal, physical, psychological, emotional and financial/economic abuse should not harass, should not barged in and should not enter anyone’s home/house without any appointment or better even to never allow such habitually abusive, toxic person to harass your eighty year old mother, and the rest of your family members.
Habitually abusive and habitually aggressive people should never be even welcome in your home/house if you want to live healthier and more peaceful, and when you want to cut and stop the generations of domestic abuse.
You can recover and heal decades of invisible wounds, oppression, sorrow, anger, regrets, loss, and grief from those abusive people who directly and indirectly, intentionally, unintentionally, and maliciously inflicted, caused, and committed the repeated domestic abuse, and effectively heal from their various forms of abuse by forgiveness but never let yourself be abused by any one of them again. Avoid them for your peace of mind. Cut off links from them and their flying monkeys, from their network of polemics mongers, gossip mongers, crab mentality habitual offenders, backstabbers, and the scandalmongers.
You can choose to forgive them but never extend trust to these abusive people who are not trustworthy where their only aim to approach you is to use you, abuse you and even slander you after they asked help, services and urgent favours from you.
You have the right to a peaceful living and not always be targeted and victimised by these habitually aggressive, intrusive, destructive, maladaptive, manipulative, verbally, emotionally, physically, and financially/economically abusive people.
Avoid the habitually abusive persons who have hallmarks of a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist, troublemakers, greedy financial parasites, opportunistic users, swindlers, con, coward, scammers, deceivers, scandalmongers, pathological liars, polemics mongers, compulsive liars, slanderers, vindictive backstabbers, crab mentality habitual offenders, and Machiavellian Manipulators.
The stopping of any form of abuse is in your hands. Without breaking the law, you can do that using diplomacy and establishing a firm boundary against these habitual abusers.
Do not let any forms of domestic abuse pass on to the next generation.
You have to protect your health, security, and safety as you provide a more holistic, peaceful way of honest, joyful living for your family.”
~ Angelica Hopes, Landscapes of a Heart Whispers of a Soul
Book 1, Speranza Odyssey Trilogy
Genre: memoir
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